Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
