Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He better not be in your backpack
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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