I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize