doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
