I hate your face
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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