don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
