just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Panties = found
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