i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
