I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
