We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
