if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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