Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
