A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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