I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
