I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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