I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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