they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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