Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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