ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
After tacos, we're chasing women.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
