I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize