Barsexuality is the new black.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Houston, we have a blender
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
