Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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