I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
