I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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