I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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