I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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