Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
