Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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