man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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