I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have tasted many bathrooms
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