If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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