My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's like heaven, but drunker
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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