there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
