is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
