sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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