oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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