And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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