Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
