i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
