hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
