The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
