it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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