Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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