I've blown a few things in my day
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
