My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
