How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
