I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ladies don't puke and tell
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
