That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
