You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
