I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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