smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
All I want is dick and wine.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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