My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
