he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize