I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
