If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
