toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
