i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
