my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
