How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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