Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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