my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
