Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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