We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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