I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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